First, I need to redo my prologue because the "tsk" noise I make is annoying. I only showed a little of that -- on the count of it being annoying. Second, I was told to take out the SIDS website because people would already know what SIDS was without having it defined. Another thing that I fixed was to end the story with the dance. I thought the dance would be good in the middle of the piece, but my class and Sabatino said it'd be better at the end. So, I changed it.
I really really enjoyed doing the Twitterive. It gave me a chance to write about things I have wanted to for a long time. I wanted to give the story mystery so that any one could relate to it -- and I hope that went over well. Before the end of the semester, I may go into the assignment and add a few things here or there. I never stop developing my stories ;-)